Reflections in Life

How many of us would be willing to sacrifice our time, pleasures in life, to love and serve other people, not asking for or expecting anything in return? No anger, no regrets, no guilt, what if’s, would have’s, could have’s, should have’s-a life lived fulfilling God’s purpose, carrying out his plan, every breath, every moment, every day. What a life to admire! 

Not all of us are equipped for that type of calling. For those who have been called, seemingly ordinary to many, are extraordinary beyond measure. Those who are don’t necessarily see it for they are beyond humble in their ways. This is the life they have come to know, live it, breathe it, embrace every moment for they know no other way of living.

As I thought about her life and entrance into death at the age of 57 on May 6th the more I realized how much she was like Jesus. She followed her heart, obedient to God, cared for her young and her aging parents, and sacrificed her life so others may live…Wow, what an imprint she left on this world!

(Here is the link to In Remembrance of Cousin Brenda):

Every day since her death I think about her. I silence myself enough to hear the sound of her voice, seeing her smile, body language and simply the kind and genuine soul she was here upon this earth. 

There are many emotions I have been experiencing ranging from sorrow, sadness, joy, peace, love, acceptance (to name a few). I know I am grieving and working through my new reality of her no longer physically being here with us. Her spirit remains in our hearts, minds and souls.

Suppressing emotions? Yep! I’ve caught myself doing that many times already. For nearly three years now, I’ve been working on creating a new mindset, one that is much healthier than the one I decided to live with for over the first 40 years of my life. 

I knew I didn’t hold the power to bring my cousin back to life. God called her home. Her mission on earth was complete. I needed to learn how to be accepting of death being a part of life, accepting of and trusting in God’s plan that indeed this was her time to depart from her body and ascend into Heaven.

Throughout the week, I’ve cried (most often times when nobody is looking). This is all natural, normal, a part of the grieving process after losing somebody we love.

She is with God, our Heavenly Father! How glorious and grand is that? A newfound freedom, no longer bound by the physical body and its constraints. 

Throughout the week, a thought and word have come to mind. The word is, “mortality.” Life can change in the blink of an eye. You don’t know when God will come calling you home. Like a game of “hide-n-go-seek” where one counts while the other one hides-when one is ready to come find the person who is hiding they say, “Ready or not, here I come!” That’s kind of how we are in life. You can’t hide from Him forever and some of us may be more prepared than others. 

From a very young age, I feared death, God, the devil, so many things, so much so that I can see looking back I was afraid to live, filled with anxiety, the fear of the unknown. I wanted my days to fly by, hoping life would get better, be a happier person, for my circumstances to change. 

Well, guess what! That all happened and more, and it came with a hefty price tag(let’s be reminded of an important fact that this was all in God’s timing, not mine). Throughout the darkest moments of my life, I thought I was facing my own mortality. I really thought I would die before making it through the crazy storm and dark valley. 

During my times of uncertainty He taught me many things:

  • Power of believing
  • Patience
  • Trust
  • Mercy
  • Grace
  • Unconditional love (His love and how to love myself)
  • Appreciation
  • Acceptance
  • Gratitude
  • Lessons during hard times
  • His light always shines (especially on our darkest days)

What is there to be afraid of when I have a Heavenly Father who wants only what’s best for me? One who looks after me, walks with me, is present every moment and through every breath I take, choice and decision I make…He loves me throughout every phase of my life. If that doesn’t breathe life into a person, I don’t know what will!

In her time of death, she brought light and life to many things. Dear friends, life is more precious than you know. The breath of life is a gift, one that is best not to be taken for granted. Appreciate the moments both big and small.

I hope and pray God provides my family and I as well as my friends with good health, safety, peace, love, protection, guidance and wisdom, to live a long and healthy life, serving Him and living out the mission He sent us here to do. 

I know I never really come to know God until I was in my mid 40’s, and that’s okay by me. He knew I wasn’t ready, open or receptive to hearing His voice until that moment in time. His timing is always perfect. My heart needed to be changed. My eyes needed to be turned towards Him. My mindset needed an adjustment.

All things considered, the tough times changed me for the better. The good times reminded me of how the tough times don’t last, this too shall pass. Everything balances out in life. We need a mix of it all to stay humble, trusting in and seeking God at all times, and reminded of His unconditional love for us.

Published by juliearahm

For the first 22 years of my life, I was a dairy farmer in central Minnesota. My life journey brought me to Alaska in 1995 where my husband and I started our family and now nearly all of our children have grown into young adults. In 2008, at the age of 35, I graduated college, earning my BA in Early Childhood Education and began teaching three months after graduation. Since then, I've been working with preschoolers with special needs. I have learned so much about myself and gained a deeper understanding and appreciation for both the children and their families. My love of writing started at an early age. From writing in my journals and diaries, creative writing in school-given story starters by my teachers, writing hand written letters to penpals, individual letters to family members and friends, and much, much more. My dream of becoming a published author came true in 2010 when I published my first book, "Bessie the Amazing Cow." I haven't published more books since then, however God has provided me with much inspiration and story ideas for future publications. I am currently exploring self-publishing with hopes of getting my next children's pictures book in the works soon. I put all faith and trust in Him and His timing. I am grateful for He has trusted in me to be a vessel through which He speaks.

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