On Tuesday, January 7th, 2020, I purchased my ticket to freedom. After a heartfelt conversation with my potential Christian Women’s Life Coach, Mukkove and thoughtful reflections throughout the day, well into the evening, there was no doubt this is where God was leading me. This is exactly where he needed me to be. I listened to His voice and I followed through.
For many years of my life, I had been highly interested in wanting to work with a life coach. An opportunity presented itself before me, and I trusted in God’s word and His plan. In the beginning, I didn’t know what to expect. Within me I felt so much negative talk, much doubt, fear and worry. The enemy was hard at work trying to compete for my attention, take up space in my thoughts and my mind, not wanting me to go through with the 12-week program. I held my head high in hopes of being taken to the next level (whatever that meant) in my life. Let there be healing. Let there be hope. May I come to know God more intimately, becoming strong, strengthening and deepening my relationship with Him.
Why would the enemy want to discourage me, talk me out of this? Because he knows how great God’s love is. His love is the most powerful thing of all. As I sat talking, having my initial interview and conversation, I expressed the doubt I was feeling and experiencing, my life coach was on to what was happening. I was reassured about the fact that the closer I get to God, closer I get to achieving great things, the stronger the attacks from the enemy to try and stop me from getting closer to God.
Moment by moment, day by day, there were many new skills I gained. I am grateful, for the enemy’s tactics kept trying to deceive, trick me in some way, even tell me some awful lies! As I gained confidence in myself, learning about God’s voice, who He is, the ways in which He speaks to me, that of love, peace and kindness-no doubt!
The money I spent was well worth the investment. Yes, money, a token, an exchange, a small price to be for the services I received. I learned the importance of the greatest investment of them all…ME!
God sees my worth! Now I see it too! He knows how precious, how valuable I am. To be the apple of His eye, would you believe! Me? Yes, you! He reminds me every day of how special and important I am to Him in so many ways.
His love is so pure and unconditional. There is nothing that could not be achieved with putting all faith and trust in Him, leaning on Him and not just on my own earthly eyes and understanding. He is my Guardian. He is my Protector. He is my Shelter. He is the one who protects me from harm, keeps me safe, holding and embracing me in His loving arms.
The voice of the enemy, becoming quieter, less vocal as I let God into my heart, my mind and soul each day. God, I know He has a plan. Good prevails evil, this I do know. Regardless of the endless and tireless attempts by the enemy to try and steer me off-course, cause a commotion and disruption and all kinds of pain, I know now I can talk my way through by bringing all things to God
An eviction notice was given to the enemy upon learning the tools and techniques to safeguard my temple, my house, my home. For far too long, getting way too comfortable, taking in the luxury of the safe place in my thoughts, my mind. Lies! He told me lies! He has been telling me lies for all these years! By giving up and surrendering everything to God, I will confess, is the best decision that has ever been made in my life. My life has been saved, on so many levels. God, He has been working hard to repair my body, mind and soul. From my brokenness, to the lies and deceptions I had been told, all of this occupied far too my space in my heart and soul.
A change of heart was all it took. The change didn’t happen overnight (even though that would have been a miracle in itself). Having grown up being quite the stubborn person, change was uncomfortable as I learned the comforts of old habits, patterns and beliefs. Over the years, my belief system was made mostly of the thoughts I can do this on my own, that was my thought system, where I was mentally for so many years.
What I didn’t know or realize, was just how bad I needed God in my life! He let me know just how much I needed Him when I was at my breaking point. My breaking point was reached just a little over a year prior to starting the 12-week program. I had counseling and therapy, some tools already in place, trusted friends whom I could speak with and really just be myself.
By the grace of God, He showed me how badly and the reasons why I needed to reach my breaking point. My heart had become hardened, complained way too much, seeing negativity in my life, my perspectives about everything was simply off. I was living a life that didn’t seem like my own.
Like magic (a miracle is a better word here), God’s light shone through me. The events leading up to me being shattered and broken, years in the making. Some things, as we like to call them, are referred to as “The straw that breaks the camel’s back.” This is a good analogy for things in life were not as they seem. One thing leads to another in life. If you don’t deal with and work through the small troubles, trials and problems early on in life, everything amplifies later on, making the pain much harder to bear and work through everything.
How would God ever have the opportunity to work through me if I never made space for Him? I get it now! I do! He definitely got my attention and I am following through with following Him in life. The Holy Spirt-YES! He jumped right in and took control. Immediately began working on my heart, repairing my soul, bringing light after countless days of darkness.
It wasn’t until I reached the deepest, darkest place in my life, feeling as if I had no place to go, did I understand the intercession and work of the Father’s hand. A powerful transformation. Even though I didn’t feel very worthy or beautiful, I knew and believed in God for He has the upper hand. He pulled me in close, held me tight, breathed light and love into my spirit once again, even an ounce at a time helped me to see the goodness in life. He helped me to believe, to see, the many gifts and talents I have to offer. Hope and wisdom for others in need, knowing someone else is there who cares and believes!
Whether or not you have carried a burden, the lies of the enemy, for just a little while or all of your life, you have the power to change a limited and fixed mindset, to one filled with love, has hope and believes. Believes in the Holy Spirit, the power to change, transform and become a much more beautiful version of oneself.
To think that I once lived with, carried around my childhood burdens and pain, to now, just letting those thoughts that come to mind, just say hello and pass on by. That burden, no longer is mine to carry. I have learned the importance of speaking with and giving everything up to God, then accepting and trusting in His ways and His timing.
God, our Heavenly Father, you sent your only Begotten Son. To live, to walk upon, as a human being here upon this earth, knowing about temptations, and of course about sin! Your Son, Jesus Christ, died for us upon the cross. His head adorned with a crown of thorns, was crucified, sacrificed His life for us so that we may have freedom.
As I have grown in my faith, no longer does worry or fear serve a purpose in my life, what does instead, is the power of prayer. The past, yep, you guessed it! Can’t change that either. What is gone, is done, said and over with. Nothing can change what happened back then. By being present, letting go and letting God, I have found the greatest gift that can ever be found-peace, joy and stillness of the heart, mind and soul.
I know how very much you want us all to draw near, be closer to you every day. You know how much I need you (and I know how much people around the world need you too!) To know your love, your voice, your word, the miracles performed, and answers to many prayers every day, all come from having spent time with you, trusting in and having faith for all that you do.
My journey and healing process continues. Learning never ends as there are many things to learn. There will be more bumps along the way, many trials, perhaps even more pain we must learn to work and grow there. Enjoy all the seasons that God brings you too. Learn to journey together with Him. For me, He is my best friend that I can tell and share everything with. I have a purpose. He has a plan. Always remember, alone you will never be.
Magnificent Meraki 