On July 3rd, I listened to a Joel Osteen podcast called, “The Blessing.” Every podcast I listen to, there are messages embedded that I can relate to. In my own life I am thinking deeper, making positive changes that impact not only my life, but those whom I spend my time with, and evolving into a more grateful person.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-blessing/id137254859?i=1000482319459
As I listened to the podcast, it became quite clear of the importance and urgency in the timing of the message. This one focused on relationships with our fathers since the day we were born into this world. I never gave too much thought into the relationship I had with my own father, growing up, dating and eventually getting married. I don’t feel as if my father and I had that special bond (like some people are fortunate enough to have).
Now that I look back and think about it, I was that child seeking the approval of my father. I may not have known it at the time for I was young, trying to make sense of the world and my place in it.
“If a young lady doesn’t get the approval from her father, many times she’ll try to get that approval from other men. She’ll go from relationship to relationship not valuing who she is because she has not been valued by the most important male in her life, her father.” -Joel Osteen
I dated a lot of guys in my teenage years and into my early 20’s. Everyone, so different, unique, special, taught me important life lessons about how a guy treats a lady. Some of them were good ol’ country boys with great respect, other ones looked to that of the flesh, of their own personal benefit, thinking about their own gain and satisfaction rather than the impact their own behaviors and sense of self would have on the girl they were dating (that was me).
Never feeling satisfied, there was something missing deep within my soul. Another thing that didn’t help during this time was a piece of advice I was given. I was told to date lots of different guys, see what’s out there, there are a lot of fish in the sea. Yeah, that’s great advice to some, but it wasn’t to me. I guess one could refer to this as quantity versus quality.
I wanted a sense of self! I wanted to know who I was in the eyes of other people. I was working on my own understanding of identity and my place in this world. Some guys made me feel loved, like someone special, and then there were those who used me, and was dumped like a dog or a cat on the side of the road to find my own way back home.
There are wounds I am still working on letting go of and releasing. Old mindsets and beliefs cloud my vision from time to time, those which come with lies, untruths, self-worth, doubt, all the stuff the enemy wants me to believe and create more chaos in my life. I have been searching for the truth in my own life. Even though I don’t necessarily know all the questions to ask, God has a way of providing me with information and resources that lead my soul to heal.
Growing up, I don’t remember my father being one to notice, compliment, be in the present moment, acknowledge me as a child of God. Yes, he knew I was his child, and I am sure he loved me in the best ways that he knew how. For me, what I was given wasn’t enough, I longed for something more. Since childhood, a void existed, there were missing pieces in life.
“She will not feel good about herself until you think she’s the greatest thing in the world.” -Joel Osteen
I lacked self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, underestimated my abilities never seeing and believing in my full potential of that being something great in this world. Just an ordinary girl, searching and crying out for more. What a difference this could have made in shaping my life for the better had I been told and made to feel like I was somebody special, uplift me in spirit, help me to see and believe in my own greatness.
The struggles I faced throughout my life were real and continue to this day. My story. My experiences. Real feelings and emotions involved. Nobody else experienced life the way I did, I have been going through and continue to experience this day. What I speak is my truth, the story of my life. We all have our own versions, perceptions and so forth, but this is me and I know my story is worthy of validation.
I craved attention. I wanted to be acknowledged, noticed, appreciated, validated, complimented, on the wonderful and unique characteristics God placed in me. Just tell me all the great things of what can be (even if I didn’t see or believe it in myself). Look at me! See me! Hear me! A yearning, a need for approval. Oh, to have heard some of the words spoken below, with a loving embrace and hug…
I love you!
You’re beautiful!
Your smile is as bright as the sun!
You’re going to do great things in life!
You have an innovative way at looking at things!
You are so good at coloring in the lines!
I appreciate you helping me!
I’m proud of you and your achievements!
You have a loving and giving spirit like no other!
You can do anything you set your heart and mind to!
You are going to accomplish your dreams!
(and the list can keep going on…)
Had God created me this way, put me in a family so I would experience such emotions, just to have a greater appreciation and deeper understanding to share with the world and help other people? I trust and believe all the pain (especially emotional), is being put to good use as He is awakening me in my life. I had fallen asleep as a young child, and now it is by faith I can “see” His workings in my life, the importance of His Divine Plan! My life is not perfect. Like you, there are many things I am working through, trying to make peace with, heal from, forgiveness and letting go.
Be not afraid, my friends for you are not alone! Someday you will come to understand and realize how important the pain of your past is in creating you to become the best version of yourself. The person who God breathed life into, to make an impact, a difference here upon this earth.
With His wisdom, there is nothing that cannot done. Purpose and passion, we all do have these things! We need to trust and believe we are so much more than the eyes can see. You are a blessing in this lifetime and in this world! I appreciate you and all you are going through to do and be your best what life has poured out to you.
You are amazing!
You got this!
You are stronger than you believe!
You are worth it!
You are beautiful!
You can achieve your greatest dreams!
All things are possible!
God hears you!
God sees you!
Be ready to receive His blessings!
God, our Heavenly Father is with us and in us always!
Find peace and comfort in knowing you and I, we all are children of the most high, almighty God! He loves us unconditionally throughout all ages and throughout times. Yes, it is Him who we shall receive our blessings from, encourage us and help us to heal.
Magnificent Meraki 