I was going through my cute and sweet little Valentine’s cards, trinkets and treats received from my preschool students and their families. As I looked at this miniature glow stick, God’s presence, His words drew me in. I thought only of this as an itty bitty, tiny little glow stick, nothing more. Pretty cute, right? Wasn’t sure what I was going to use it for, but it was a gift given to me.
As I was cleaning up and putting away several things, the glowstick seemed to be calling out to me in the silence of the morning. For some reason, I felt the urge to pick it up, admire it, then proceeded to bend it until a curve formed and I heard the crackling sort of sound. The neon green slowly emerged. It started out as a dot and then color spread throughout the entire stick.
This is when it hit me! I had the ah-ha moment I needed. The message and purpose behind this gift became much more transparent in the silence of my own heart and mind. My guess is the gift given never thought what I am about to share. Their gift was more than they will ever know.
Where my mind and thoughts were drawn towards focused on our brokenness and light within. Be still and know I am here. Listen. Draw near.
Have you ever been broken? I know I have been! I am thinking that may be why this seed of thought was planted to be shared in the best way I know how.
Maybe your heart has been hardened, nearly turned to stone by bitterness and pain. Maybe you’ve been carrying a lifetime of burdens, having lost faith, trust and so much unforgiveness, needing healing and unconditional love.
Regardless of what has pulled us away from loving and having a personal relationship with Him, He finds a way into our hearts, even if that means He needs to break it.
How else are we to let God in if we’ve tried to live life on our own, do things in our own timing, never giving Him the opportunity to work through us throughout our lives? He has a way with His wake-up calls and letting it be known it is Him.
God has a plan for our lives. He finds a way in. His ways may be very uncomfortable. How else are we going to get out of our comfort zone unless He shakes up our world to change our hearts and help to see by faith rather than sight?
He is in us. He is with us. His spirit remains. He reminds us of His unconditional love for us. He helps us to believe. He gives us precisely the tools needed to make it through everything we have went through and will be going through, all the days of our lives.
My breaking point came a little over four years ago. I had been a foreigner to myself. I thought I was emerging with this new sense of self and great freedom, yet others thought I might have gone a bit crazy or extreme. Believe me when I say, the choices we choose to make will either impact us positively or adversely, having to live with repercussions with the actions taken.
By no means am I saying I have had a life sentence, living traumatic events repeatedly, but letting go of and moving on has been a difficult process and a big learning curve due to the strongholds on my thoughts and mindsets I’ve had since I was very young.
When I reached my breaking point, I thought my light was gone. I lived in a darkness, one filled with great fear and anxiety of the unknown. Never once did I ever think the darkness would ever be filled with light. I had lost hope. I thought, this is it. That time in my life felt like it would last forever. Not long before I felt so lighthearted in spirit. One thing changes the course of your life and never once will you ever be the same.
I felt unworthy of love (yet I knew how much I needed validation of and expressions of love from outside myself). I felt out of control, a sense of helplessness and what would happen next. The future unknown. Panic, anxiety and depression.
Slowly but surely, I felt myself come to life once again. The process was painstakingly slow. I wanted so much to rush the process to get through this as fast I could. As we know, God has His own timeline and his plans.
When God broke open my heart, I learned He needed to do this to make space for Him in my life. I needed to start living my life right a life where I put Him first. As I learned to lean on and trust in Him, that’s when I really noticed my own light start to shine. At first, just a little bit, then His light and love began radiating from within me. I was in the early stages of my transformation process, learning how to become more like Him.
I had been trying so hard to do things my own way, in my own timing on my own terms. This life is not about me, it’s about God! It’s about living a life loving and serving Him and others, while learning to love myself.
Like the glowstick, everything about me on the outside is still intact. What I was unable to see was the light and great love that existed within me. I thought I was doing good in life, until I wasn’t. I was blinded, so very blinded and it was lies I did believe my truths.
My friends, be not afraid of breaking open. Let your brokenness and vulnerability set you free. The journey may not be an easy path for you to travel on, this I know. Never once has God meant any of the for your harm, rather, for your good.
He will bring you THROUGH! The key word is THROUGH! I was scared! I struggled! I felt alone! I lived in fear and anxiety! Once I come to know God and develop a closer relationship with Him than I have ever had in my life, it was then I come to know His unconditional love, the greatest peace ever, and that I can put my faith and trust in Him, and everything was going to be okay.
Magnificent Meraki 