Getting Ready to be Crowned

On October 21^st, I had a crowning ceremony, so to speak. It wasn’t your typical gemstones on a tiara sort of celebration where the crown is placed upon your head. Rather, I was seated in a chair which soon laid back, a blanket placed on me for warmth, had needles with numbing injections placed in different areas on one side of my mouth, sunglass put on to protect my eyes and my mouth securely propped very wide open for nearly 1.5 hours. 

Have you ever had a crowning ceremony like this? It’s been many years since I’ve had one done. Technology has changed and nothing like I remember having been done before. Times have changed for sure!

Bottom right, as far back as you can go. Yep, this was the tooth that received all kinds of attention that day in preparation for receiving a porcelain crown. Little did I know at the time the disruption, distraction, frustration, and emotion this would cause me since that day.

Before getting up and out of the dentist’s chair, I was told it would be sore for a couple days and offered some Tylenol and Ibuprofen, which I declined. I’ve got this, I thought. Besides, I’m not the kind of person who typically takes medicine unless it’s necessary. 

Back home and almost 6 hours later, I was getting feeling back in my mouth and the numbness wearing off. Sore, yes I was sore for a couple days. There was no need for any medication, I can push through this, it’s not that bad. 

As time went on, the soreness turned to pain, a lot of discomfort which created a lot of concern in my own mind for now it was 6 days since I was at the dentist. I was told it would only be sore for a couple days. 

Red flags, alarms, sirens were going off in my mind. I tried to calm them, all the what if’s and what’s wrong. I was spiraling, nearly out of control. They know what they are doing (at least I hoped so). What if I was the exception, the fluke, the lucky one to have some sort of misfortune at the dental visit? Besides, I was the first one of the day at 8AM, their guinea pig you know!

You see where I am going with this, right?

Six days later and on a Friday, I thought, I need to get in and have this checked out before the weekend. I would have probably gone stir crazy thinking about it over the weekend. Fortunately, they had a time slot available so I could stop in on my way home from work. I had only worked a half day, so this was a bit beyond my lunch time. 

I was starting to get hangry, hormones a bit wonky with that time of the month things. 

Composure. 

Must. 

Maintain. 

Composure. 

Keep calm!

I needed some peace of mind. I needed to hear what was normal and what was not. They checked my mouth out, offered up some suggestions. No need for concern. Still, I was skeptical. What if they were just saying that not to worry me? What if they were in the wrong and making it seem like it was alright?

The mind can sure do some crazy things, especially when it comes to storytelling and creating a distorted reality. It was trying to link on to other people who had done me wrong in the past, who had done other family members wrong too. It was looking for connection in all the wrong places. I knew I needed to disconnect from the pattern and cycle, but it kept lingering on and on and on. Yet, it kept coming on strong.

Since then, I’ve found that to be my topic of conversation. My mouth reminds me frequently that it’s still healing. 

 I’m so over it!!! I think to myself (and I’ve said out loud too). Trying to open my mouth wider to eat has brought me to tears (literally) until this day. I want to be able to open wide, but my mouth says otherwise. 

Yesterday, November 6^th, I decided something needs to change. I can’t go on living in a bad attitude complaining about something that I really don’t have any control over. 

My attitude stinks! I am tired of complaining about this discomfort, this inconvenience. Yes, I see I have taken the ability to eat for granted. Why can’t I just accept this for what it is and let God take care of it?

Awareness, my attention shifted, taking the focus off the negative components, being more kind, compassionate and loving towards my body and myself. I know this pain is temporary, yet it doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to bear. This is not permanent. God will bring me through this a better person than I was before. 

As easy as it has been to complain about everything, my disappointments, the time it was taking to heal, the discomfort, lack of being up front and communicating the reality of the healing process, I couldn’t help but think this was the enemy, the devil himself taking over and creating turmoil in my life. I wasn’t living a life filled with love and gratitude. I was grumbling, ready to be through this, trying to get other people to join my bandwagon, my soapbox of complaints I was on. That’s what happens when I get stuck or start spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. God kicks His 4-wheel drive in and creates a way to pull me through. 

That night, I said, that’s it! I got out my magnifying mirror out, turned the flashlight on, on my phone, and looked for the first time inside my mouth to see what I could see. I saw the spot where the needle was injected in my mouth. This was only one of about 5 because my mouth wasn’t fully numb after the first injections and needed to do some more. I did my best to examine. There wasn’t much of a difference looking from side to side, but something wasn’t quite right, didn’t look the same.

At this point, I had more compassion, more love, more grace for myself, my mouth and everything it went through. I acknowledged and apologized for the pain my mouth was experiencing, knowing this had been very traumatic and was healing the best it can in its own timing. 

My heart softened and became more at peace. I spoke to myself and my mouth like a good friend. I offered up more love, compassion and showed patience during this time (which I was doing quite poorly with before). I rubbed, massaged the inside of my mouth, hoping there was healing power in touch.

The next day, noticeable things began to change. Was I pain free? Nope! But you know what, I didn’t feel as much pain and discomfort. Let’s hope the extra love, attention and seeking God during this challenging time, has made the difference I had been hoping for, to see and to feel. Acknowledging Him and feeling His presence changes everything.

One thing is for sure, God sure has a way of bringing me back to Him, always reminding me the importance of seeking Him. It is there I will experience His peace and fix my gaze back upon Him.

This experience has not been at all what I thought it would be. I expected there to be pain for only a couple days, instead I’ve had to endure and push through over 2.5 weeks of this since this visit to prepare the tooth for the crown. Expectations leave us disappointed every time, that’s for sure!

I go back in a couple days to get my porcelain crown put on. I’m looking forward to having that done, hoping all is well and my mouth can adjust to the new normal, moving forward from this experience.

Some of my takeaways and important lessons from this experience include: 

Having Patience

Self-Love

Compassion

Awareness

Mindfulness of words, thoughts, and actions

Discernment

Discomfort is temporary.

God uses our pain for a greater purpose.

Importance of keep God first, fixing our eyes on Him.

The devil is a liar.

Don’t let your emotions and stories it tells run wild.

Importance of holding your thoughts captive.

What would Jesus say and do?

Am I living a life like Jesus in my thoughts and in my words?

I know I can do better, so I make the changes and do better.

Pain is a temporary distraction trying to steal the joy in everyday living.