What do you do when you are faced with unexpected news? Do you avoid? Do you run away from and hide? Do you escape in hopes that it will go away and pretend it never existed? Are you in denial? Do you face fear head on? Do you open you heart and mind rather than turning a blind eye? Do you accept what is? Do you cry? Are you hopeful? Do you turn to your faith? Do you trust and believe?
“He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD” (Psalm 112:7)
In these kinds of circumstances and situations, 101 questions easily come to mind, asking why, what was the rationale behind it, did they look at all the options, hardships, how hearing this news might make one feel. I can express what it is I feel, but it’s not going to change the outcome. Decisions have already been made in accordance with what is deemed appropriate and most sensible at this time.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)
God is calling me to follow Him, to trust where He is leading. Yes, the news was a shock to my system. I hoped for this to be my forever home, the place I was meant to be. These people are family, my home away from home, a place where I can be free, be me, to be free from fear, worry, anxiety, a place where I am loved, appreciated, seen, where I belong.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Perhaps I became comfortable, maybe too comfortable, in a place, thinking this is where I belong, where I will be long-term. If that is so, maybe that in part is the reason for change coming soon.
God saw that it was time to shake things up, make me feel uncomfortable again. I will be going into a place of the unknown, uncertainty, a place where I have heard many things about leaving me with mixed feelings. I don’t know what to expect. I hope it’s not as bad as it’s been perceived to be. Regardless, moving forward with faith and confidence, is what I must do.
“And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.” (Isaiah 42:16)
Finding good in all circumstances, is what I try to bring to the forefront of my mind and focus on. The sting, the pain is still there, but it’s not controlling my thoughts and my life.
Maybe God has placed me where I am, to show me His goodness, His kindness, His grace, His mercy, connect me with the people I needed to be with, to better myself, see the workings of Jesus, and appreciate what I’ve got. I’ve crossed paths with those who I needed to me, those who have inspired me, those who have taught me to trust, those who helped me to believe in myself, keep trying, stand up.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
If I have fulfilled my purpose in such a short amount of time, I will take it as a compliment. God, I hope this means I served you well and made you proud. You’re ready for me to plant more seeds of hope and kindness in the place that is to come.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Bitterness, anger, and hatred will all faded. Yes, I feel things deeply. Yes, I am a sensitive person. Yes, I get upset quite easily, but that’s what empaths do. It’s okay to feel what I am feeling. Working through emotions is a process. Times like this, it’s a process, going through the stages of grief. What I am experiencing is a loss. I will heal in my own time.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
My faith and trust are in you dear Father!
There are so many things beyond my control, something much bigger than me. I am facing my own, internal Goliath, knowing I need to be ready for battle, spiritual battle where the enemy has already taken root, taken over. More than ever, I need to make it more of a routine to put on the Armor of God, for protection and know He is fighting my battles.
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him” (Psalm 28:7)
There have been many times where I’ve been led astray, not knowing God, His voice, or who I was. I trusted too much, was too naïve, had no boundaries, nor did I stand up for myself or even thought my voice and who I was mattered.
I am a child of God. He created me on purpose for a purpose. When I strayed far away from Him, a sheep who wandered too far, He guided me back to green pastures, a place for me to lie down, feel safe and take comfort in His presence, His voice, His word.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Psalm 23:1-6)
“I am the good shepherd. I know My own and My own know Me” (John 10:14)
At this moment in my life, I feel as if I’ve grown closer to God, more spiritually mature and have embraced what it is He is calling me to do. The more open and receptive I am, the more peace that exists within me. It’s faith over fear. I am making a choice, a conscious decision to accept, be a better, not a bitter person because of my life circumstances.
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Will there be days I feel anger, hurt, pain, weakness? Of course! I know there will be storms, obstacles to overcome, ebb and flow, the waves of life, never knowing what each of the tides will wash ashore and reveal. I hope the seas are not too turbulent, so much so that I lose my sense of direction or get pulled under by the under tow. If and/or when that happens, I will be reminded the light already exist within me.
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)
God has already equipped me with what is needed for this assignment. I need to trust in, believe and learn how best to use the tools He has given me.
I hope that my light may continue to shine bright in the place where I am going. May the gifts I’ve been given serve others well, have a positive impact and influence on their lives.
When my time is done at the next place is to come, may I move forward with many valuable lessons learned, become more as one with Him.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” (John 15:16)
Magnificent Meraki 