She was left alone to fight her own battle. The tears she shed, they did not matter. Crying profusely, not knowing if the tears would ever stop, she tried reaching out to him. No response, no reply, God knows she did try.
He knew it was for her best to be sent in to war and fight her own battles. He went on with his life never again seeking her out nor saying a word. Disappeared, vanished, like a magician’s trick, never to return to, or check in on her.
She found herself in a town she had never been, surrounded by strangers in a world she knew nothing about. A small-town girl abandoned in the big city, with nobody around to console, to comfort her, to hold her, to love her and let her know in time, everything would be alright.
He knew she was strong. He knew there was a warrior within her. A beast? An animal? Well, not so certain he went that far as to describe. There was more to her than meets the eye, but wasn’t so sure if she had believed it.
Darkness came upon her. Darkness of the mind. Darkness of the soul. Darkness of the winter months, living in a northern climate. Slowly she drifted, sinking into sadness, then ultimately depression. She knew exactly what she was going through, yet this feeling had been amplified to the 10th exponential power.
The forces were strong, but so was she. Even though she felt like a stranger, like she was turning into someone else, much chaos and confusion going on in her head, she kept pushing through. Her one love, her ultimate love and saving grace in her life—WRITING, ceased for some time.
Throughout the intense emotions and feelings, she had going on inside, the sadness nearly tore her apart. She tried, she really did try. She wanted so much to write and write and write, but the fear within her paralyzed her. To write such pain down on paper, she was frightened about what may flow from the mind, to the hand, to the pen, to the paper. She wanted to write beautiful things, messages of hope, healing and transforming throughout time, not about darkness and pain.
Little did she know at the time how such pain and darkness would ultimately transform her into the beautiful soul she is today. She always had a light within her, but it took such darkness and pain, soul searching and prayer to find what lay within.
Over the long winter months, from her writing she did refrain. Around the beginning of the year, the days started getting brighter, more sunlight started to appear. Yes, she still did have much darkness within that needed to be dispelled, but she felt the pain, the fog, the dark clouds started to lift. She was finding there was light, there was hope, there was love, there was forgiveness amidst all the pain and the load she had been carrying.
Come springtime, she felt as if she reconnected with her long, lost friend. Getting to know herself once again would take some time. No longer was she the same woman before facing the darkness, her fears, having been sent to conquer so many things alone. The darkness that once consumed her, was now the fuel for the fire which burns so bright within her. A new life form had been taken on.
Her writing emerged once again, having a new focus and a purpose. To love and serve God more faithfully in her daily life. Without Him, without his loving mercy and grace, she would never be where she is today. Reaching out and sharing her story, even having her own blog.
This is a new beginning for in life, there is no end. From this day forward, she does not know what each day will bring. What she does know, is that this is life, in order to change us, sometimes He needs to be a little more extreme in the ways He opens our eyes. Not only does He open our eyes, but He opens our hearts as well. He helps us to receive Him in ways only known to Him.
She learned many lessons the hard way. For some reason, she believed for most of her life that she did do and/or learn things the hard way.
Throughout it all, she come to understand and realize she was stronger than she ever knew. She found out what inner sheer strength she really did possess. The warrior in her emerged. She traveled on and is finding her tribe!
She was an animal! She was a beast! The world heard her roar, like a lion and attack the enemy. The world also saw the gentle side of her, like one of the Lord’s flock, one of His sheep. She followed Him, where He led. He provided comfort and shelter, always staying by her side.
Her journey continued. Her journey continues to this day. God, He knows, as well as she does, that she has passed this test. She is ready to move forward, move on and stop pressing rewind, living all the pain over and over and over again.
Who knows who God will place along her path in life? Who knows who she will meet? Who knows the places she will travel to? Who knows what lessons she will learn?
At all times, God is with her. Throughout all of her darkness and during sunny times. Throughout times of confusion and days of such joy with much clarity.
GOD IS THERE!
GOD IS HERE!
GOD IS EVERYWHERE!
She became the woman God intended for her to be at just the right moment at this time in her life. Throughout the storm. Throughout the battle. Throughout the many tests. Her soul has grown in ways she could have never imagined.
God spoke, she listened, she answered, she obeyed. To this day, she is His faithful servant. She is doing her best to listen to His word. Being mindful. Being there for others. Showing kindness and compassion in the most loving forms as she possibly can.
She is a woman. She is a lover. She is a fighter. She is a warrior. She is God’s light. This woman is inside of us all, just waiting to be discovered and released.
Magnificent Meraki 