On March 6, 2021, I had a flashback to my younger days. The word “inheritance” came to mind. I’m not sure what really sparked this, maybe thinking about my dad and the upcoming anniversary of his death on March 23rd. Coincidence? Maybe…Perhaps this is something God wants me to explore deeper and find the hidden message, truth within this word.
My grandparents (Ma & Pa), lived right next door to us on the farm well until they were in their upper 80’s-90’s, then moved into a nursing home. Before I was born, my dad purchased the land and the homestead from his parents, making it his own. Farming, he often times said, was “in his blood.” This is something he felt deep down in him, something he either wanted to, needed to or had to do.
Making a living as a farmer was no easy task. Seemed as if a piece of equipment or machinery was always breaking down, illnesses and diseases in cattle, cold winters, hot summers, too wet, too dry, too much work, not enough daylight, something always not quite right. Checks and balances, well…I think I am safe to say this, a farmer is usually in the red.
Grandpa passed away while I was still in elementary school, and Grandma passed away not long after I graduated from high school. After Grandma passed away, family dynamics seemed to change, energy shifted.
Family members came to go through and clean out some of the stuff that remained in my grandparents house. I don’t know what brought on the topic of conversation. Perhaps some just have the mindset, expecting something to be given to them once their parents, family, loved ones pass on.
While many of us were mourning the loss, knowing both Ma and Pa entered their eternal resting place, there began much discord and tension of those being focused only on earthly things. Materialism, money, entitlement, maybe even greed. Not sure how best to describe what I experienced as I was just a kid and didn’t know or fully understand everything at that time of my life. What is it that prompts people to think they are entitled to things that aren’t theirs?
My family and I, we lived right next door to Ma and Pa’s house. Family would come visit. Great aunts and uncle, aunts and uncles, cousins (yes, there were many!) That is something I miss very much this day in my life-family gatherings, knowing I belonged to something much bigger. There is more to life than just my immediate family.
My dad purchased the farm from Ma and Pa well before I was born. This is how we made a living, our livelihood, the only thing we ever owned and knew. Siblings of my dad moved away and purchased their own homes and land. Some of them stayed closed to home and farmed and others moved farther away.
Can one not be content with what they have? What is the need for something more? Was this disruption really worth all the energy, heartache and pain? Be happy with what God’s given. The enemy, he is on the prowl and attack.
Looking back now, I realize this was all part of Satan’s plan. He is the villain, the manipulator, the deceiver, the enemy looking for a way in to cause chaos and tear families apart.
I was more closely connected to some family members more than others. Aren’t we all really that way? Inside, it’s a feeling and a knowing who are being true to you and are able to trust. On the flip side, through words and actions of some, one learns from an early age who portrays themselves to be better than other people, which creates tension and creates feelings of being distanced throughout life.
We never know what someone has been through as we have never walked in their shoes. Our own, we walk in and we don’t necessarily know or fully understand our own journey. On a deeper level, I feel as if there was something missing in their own life, a void, who knows. Whatever the reason, behavior is a form of communication and what was being projected from them was a reflection of who they were at the time, not me or anybody else.
Halos and pitchforks, you know, like the cartoons of back in the day, such as Tom and Jerry. On one shoulder stood the devil and on the other an angel. As much as some people try to be “good” Christians, they are easily swayed by the voices of the enemy. They get told lies and eventually believe them, before you know it, what they hear becomes the truth.
I know this seems like I’ve been on my soap box and venting out, but really it’s not. God brought me back around with the term, inheritance. He reminded me that it’s not the earthly things that matter. We are not to set our sights on earthly things, for some day they will perish. One thing that will never perish, is His everlasting, unconditional love, peace, joy and solitude that awaits us in Heaven. Our one and only true inheritance! No need for greed! No need to get bitter! No need to get caught up in or start an argument over trivial things that don’t matter!
The more I keep my focus and sights on Him, the more peaceful my life is, becomes. I know what happened back in the day was a family feud and squabble. The focus was not on Him. For some reason certain family members just couldn’t let it go. Wanting more and more and more! For what? I will never know.
Most of the family members have since passed on. The generation before me, nearly gone. I am the change I wish to see. Healing from, moving forward, moving on and letting go. Sometimes, we have to be brave, express what it is that is brought to our hearts and minds. Believe me, I have uncertainties and discomfort about sharing this piece of my life, but it’s played a role in who I am.
I have no respect for those who are greedy, wanting more for selfish purposes. To me, that’s not the bigger person in this life. So much wasted energy. Building walls instead of burning bridges and moving on. There was something that was hard to swallow. Something that someone refused to accept. The truth! Accept, respect and move forward in life. Life is too short to carry the burdens of the hardship and pain, not to mention the years lost with the brokenness in a family.
Magnificent Meraki 