As you know, I’ve been going through many emotions, while processing and accepting this new assignment which has been given to me. I greatly appreciate you keeping me in your thoughts and prayers as I learn to listen for His voice and trust all which He has planned.
Yesterday, the waves of emotions came flooding through. I needed a release more than I realized. My tender heart needed to be heard, it needed to let go of the pain which I was holding onto. I am grateful for my cousin was available, had time to listen, reflect and reassure me that I was not alone in feeling what I was feeling, that I would be okay, get through this. She was right and I knew it. When you are caught up in deep emotions, sometimes it’s hard to see the sunshine behind the storm clouds. We spoke for almost an hour, my heart no longer felt so burdensome and heavy. I am thankful I have people in my life who help me carry my burdens, making my life feel brighter and lighter.
Later that evening, my two oldest daughter’s and I attended a ladies’ night only Yoga class. This was my first time with the instructor. She was young, energetic, enthusiastic, had great energy, love and embraced us all. We were opening our hearts, releasing things which no longer served a purpose in our lives, let go (this was just a small piece of the yoga flow). Something touched me deeply, the way her words were spoken, songs played by the DJ. I knew I needed to be there (even though I hesitated to go at first due to my sort of being out of it mood). My lips started to quiver, feeling sadness, tears swelled in the corners of my eyes. Here comes another wave of emotion. I guess I had more inside, although I thought I was in a peaceful state, one where I didn’t feel the need to cry. Since it was a hot yoga class, I was hoping the sweat dripping off my face would mask the tears I was crying. It’s not that crying wasn’t okay; I just wanted a break from the tears and the hardship I was feeling.
When I returned home, I felt inspired after being in an environment filled with peace, love, and beautiful energy. As I showered, a vision came into my head, a picture I could draw to represent what it is I was feeling. My drawings are very childlike (and that’s okay). It’s the best I know how to do and it gets the point across (with a few words too).
First, I thought about the tears I’ve been crying. My tears are being used for a greater purpose. The they are watering the seeds which God has planted in my life. I’ve drawn the raindrops quite large as I’ve had a lot of big emotions and tears for nearly a week now. It was like a storm that come over me, thunder, lightning, down-pouring of rain. When the rain hits the ground, it splats and flattens out.
Although I don’t know, nor can I see the plan God has for my life, the storm will pass, give way to light. With light I am reminded of His love which will provide new life in the coming of the new season. I will grow wherever I am planted.
To get to where I am going, I don’t know what challenges or obstacles I will face. What I do know is God is up to something good! He is growing something beautiful in me and I am excited to see what this new season brings.
Today, I was given hope, being provided with a tidbit more of insight about the school where I am going. I have a little more information, just enough, so I have an idea of the new environment in which I am going into next year. Everybody has their own perspective, their way of interpreting what it is they see and feel in the presence of other people. When this information was shared with me, I thought to myself…I’ve got this! God, you, and I-we got this! Mindsets, habits, beliefs, the overall tone of the school. I know I need to be there, change the energy. It’s one thing to think about having a big impact, when I haven’t experienced or stepped foot in the school yet. I wonder what it will be like when I meet the staff at the school, and become a part of the culture, their school family. Only God knows what that moment will be like. Soon, I will experience and see for myself.
Taking each day, moment by moment. It’s encouraging to watch life unfold like a flower and bear fruit in due season.
Magnificent Meraki 