Last week, I felt as if my life was such a mess. Old memories, days of my past, revisited, resurfaced, brought back old energy. So much hurt, pain, sadness and confusion, all flowed out in the form of tears.
Tears, many tears. God, how many are there? Will these ever stop. Tears, they did flow from well within my heart, leaked out my eyes and onto my chest. My heart did thirst, and His word did satisfy as my tears once again touched the surface of my heart.
So many burdens I have been carrying for much too long. I concealed them from nearly everybody (except for God and myself). This time, there was no holding back. My eyes, when I spoke to and looked at my friend, swelled up, my lips did quiver. Yes, I cried!!
I needed to be held. I needed a hug. A reassurance to let me know everything was going to be alright. The emotion, placed so deep within my heart, I cried so profusely. I do believe that was God saying to just let it all out. God, please help me to understand the reason I am going through all of this the way I have this day.
I knew at the time, with such a big emotion, that everything I was experiencing was only temporary. The storm would soon pass. Getting through my days last week was like being caught up in a tropical storm. Strong winds keep blowing and pushing me back. As I try to take one step forward, five steps back are taken instead. Heavy rains fell, like that of the tears that fell from my eyes. The storms of life, each and every one of us do have them.
In my heart, I felt it and I knew that I needed to bring my mess to Jesus. Mukkove Johnson’s devotional, Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You in Your Mess, she has a way of sharing her stories in a way that brings peace, comfort, light and hope, helping one to accept oneself messes and all, while making the transformation from pain to joy.
I know first-hand, what it feels like to not feel good enough or worthy enough to receive, even if it is a blessing God is attempting to give me. In time, I have learned through accepting of oneself, trusting and believing in Him, that I am worth His time. I am an image of Him.
“When we embrace our mess, we recognize that we need Jesus. We don’t let anything stop us from reaching Him. Amazingly, He turns to meet us when we come. There is healing, and there is a relationship.“ By Mukkove Johnson
If we never trust in Him enough to give our mess up to Him, how can He help us to heal? There is far too much happening in this life to try and go solo, without calling upon Him for his loving guidance. I know, I tried figuring things out on my own.
Do you know what happened during my attempts? (I will add here too, that I tend to be a strong-willed and determined kind of person, feeling like there is something to prove and show the world I can do things on my own.) I felt more anxious, worried, fearful and scared…definitely all alone too. When I made the switch, the transformation, of giving Him quiet time in my life, we developed a deeper relationship and the healing had begun.
These past few days, I have been better. I have continually looked to Him for guidance and support. If you are wondering, yes, I did pray! (and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed). Never once did I ask Him why. I know better than that for every test, every trial, every storm has a purpose in our life.
What was brought out in me today, was such an incredibly beautiful and intimate moment with Him. I am learning the art of, embracing my mess and finding my message in life. The pain I had been holding and feeling, finally lifted a bit which allowed some healing to take place. Found deep, in the depths of my heart and soul, finding out what I am truly made of.
The journal, that my friend and I do share is a special one indeed. As we take turns writing to each other, we pass along our words each day.
God, He provided me with an incredible amount of inspiration. So much peace, joy and love from within my own soul. I was ready. I was open. I was receptive. I was ready to hear Him and receive Him.
He gave me such beautiful words to write down. Such kind and loving words. So gentle and His love so pure. His spirit, I knew right there and right then that He was with and within me, guiding me all along.
There is no greater love than that of His. The messages I received this morning were for my friend. Not for my blog, not for anyone else. Just her. Just I. God. I listened, I followed and I obeyed. I knew I had to listen closely to His word and be His faithful servant.
In Mess to Majesty: Let Go Love You in Your Mess, Mukkove Johnson highlighted a passage, based on Luke 7:38-50, which says,
“I live in peace because of His love and forgiveness. “ By Mukkove Johnson
Like the woman with the alabaster jar of precious perfume, I too, was overwhelmed with gratitude. She brought her mess, everything she had known herself to be and Jesus accepted her.
“Whatever her past had been, she knew it did not stand between her and Jesus. She did not have to get her act together first. This is fabulous news because none of us can.” By Mukkove Johnson
I was so grateful for He trusted in me writing down His every word. Such loving guidance, I did thank Him, and let Him know how grateful I truly was and am.
This very evening, October 7, 2019, my friend’s turn with the journal. Her turn to read, get insight into my life, as well as have the opportunity to read the words that were spoken by Him. Her time to sit back, process and reflect on what this does mean in her own life.
I am His messenger. He is a giver in life. He gives, He shares His word with me. You can say, I too, am a giver, not expecting anything in return to receive. If I do, it’s God’s blessing.
One can say that I am, following Jesus into the mess.
“When Mary said yes, to carry the Messiah, she had a miracle and a mess. She said yes to God. Her yes allowed her to carry His message in a way no one else ever would. Little did she know how her life would be changed, but she trusted in and embraced Him” By Mukkove Johnson
Such a warm and loving embrace. An intimate moment in time with Him. To be a light, filled with His everlasting love. This in itself is a blessing beyond anyone could imagine or dream. I am grateful to help. All of this is a part of my life mission. Being a vessel, through which He speaks. I am also His scribe and help Him to pass his word along.
Never, would I have imagined, such a change from being a “Mess” to “Majesty.” With some of His teachings in life, about pain, about the weight of the burden, He has set me free.
My perspective in life is turning around. Seeing the good, seeing the positive things. Creating a reality that is much more beautiful than I ever imagined it could be.
With this process that I have been going through, as God’s servant, I hope the words He’s spoken have been accurately transcribed through my writing and be reflective of His word. Helping others heal, is what I hope to achieve, through my own personal story and through His word.
You, too, can heal. Transformation can take place. No mess is too messy, nor do you take up too much of His time. Find peace and comfort in your own life. Learn how to let Him into your life, into your heart, helping you to heal from the hurts of the past.
Mukkove Johnson’s devotional, Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You in Your Mess, will be launched October 15th 2019. For the first 3 days, the e-book version will be free, so make sure you go to www.messtomajesty.com and sign up to stay updated.
I appreciate you all journeying along on my path in life. Let your heart be your guide, bringing an abundance before you. Seek Him and He will guide you on your way.
Magnificent Meraki 