The day has come where my body, mind and spirit don’t feel as if it’s in such an emotional state. I thought it was me, going crazy to say the least. Still trying to understand who it is I am, the ways in which I feel and express myself, how it is I have come …
Tag Archives: acceptance
On the Eve of My Last Day at My New School
Today marked the last day of teaching in my new school. Two years ago, the school I was at, closed and our preschool classrooms were relocated. Originally, I was overwhelmed at the news, having to pack up everything and move on. I didn’t know how long we would be here before we were told to …
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God’s Greater Plans
Throughout my circumstances, God still amazes me how He works through us and other people in our lives. What once felt catastrophic, overwhelming and heart-wrenching, the pain and sorrow, has been turned into joy. Throughout the process of learning to accept what is and will be, I have come into a peaceful sense of being. …
Receiving and Working Through Unexpected News
What do you do when you are faced with unexpected news? Do you avoid? Do you run away from and hide? Do you escape in hopes that it will go away and pretend it never existed? Are you in denial? Do you face fear head on? Do you open you heart and mind rather than …
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I Am the Living Water
My mind keeps drawing me back to the story of the woman at the well. From hearing the story in church during mass and in some podcast, something keeps resonating more deeply with her experience. As much as I’ve tried to be a good girl throughout my life, do what’s right, be open, honest, kind …
Going Inward and the Complexities of Life
To better understand myself, my life, this world, the people around me, my circumstances (both present and past), I’ve found myself to be in a bit of a struggle in my mind, my heart, and memories. Is it, perhaps that I am looking too deep when really the answers may really be quite simple? Or …
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She Had Yet to See
There She sat Her mother By Her side She noticed Bare skin Rolls The fullness Of life A tree She was Bore fruit In her life Pregnancy She carried Children In her womb Lacked Self-confidence Poor Self-image Words Spoken negatively Rather than Speak life Parts and pieces She disapproved All the things She didn’t like …
Final Wishes
What is it you want on your final days? How will you enter Eternal Rest? Do your loved ones know what you want or prefer? You know, it’s crossed my mind, but I had never given this much thought. My spouse had brought up this topic. The conversation was more about those who we leave …
No Matter How Blinded We Are, God Continues To Help Us See
The enemy has taken me to dark places, depths beyond that which one could fathom or imagine deep in the mind. I felt like a captive, being lost in the great abyss. Fear of the unknown, having to face, confront my own shadows and culmination of darkness in my 49 years. Battlefield. Battle ground. Desolate. …
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Thinking About Things…
Lately, I haven’t been doing much writing and reflection (on paper and typing on the computer), but there are plenty of times I’ve spent talking things out with God, gaining His perspective. I’ve been trying to spend more time with family, time, and moments we can never get back. I have my interests and hobbies, …
A Life Lived
Your hair Turns many shades Your memory Begins to fade Will you Look back and say I wish… I regret… Why didn’t I… It’s too late… (the list can go on…) Will you Be able to accept Your choices Your decisions Embrace The person You are today Knowing You’ve lived life Everything A part of …
Let’s Put This in Perspective
A fish and a birdReversed roles For a dayWonderingWhat it would be likeThey were Very curious So fascinated By what they could doIn their own environment The bird was excited Never giving much thought What it takesTo live life In the waterNo scalesNo finsNo gillsThe bird thoughtThis is no life for meI almost drownThe fishJust …
Just Thought You Needed to Know
No matter where you go in life No matter what you do A friend You will have In me For sure That’s right A person Far from perfect Wounded Internal Battle scars The mind A battlefield Not everyone can see New layer of healing Restoration unfolds The spirit The essence Of who I am Thank …
Facing My Goliath
Being an empath is not easy, especially when other people don’t understand you. Words and actions of other people may leave you feeling as if you are the one with the problem and need to get your act together. Being told to chill out, calm down and avoidance until storm stops isn’t necessarily the best …
Cherish the Moments
(Pictured above is my uncle and I from the summer of 2016. This was the last time I saw him. I thought it was so funny to sit on his lap, pretending to be a kid again from days gone by. This picture makes my soul happy, helping me to smile and remember the good …
Vacation Expectations
Have you ever had expectations of what you thought many of your days and life experiences would be like? I know I sure have. Let’s talk about a vacation my husband and I took to Florida recently. When we first booked our flight to Florida, my mind became fixated on a week’s worth of sunshine …
Casting Out to Him
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been craving the need to listen more podcasts these days. My soul is hungry, deficient in something and searching for more. Something to take the edge of, to satisfy a need. I need God! I need His word! I need His truth! I need His presence in my …
God Knew…In Time She Learned Too
Many years Passed by Finally realized Lies Ran deep Devil in disguise Misleading Deception Pulled the blinders Over her eyes Believed She did These lies Became her truths Reality In her own mind Much wisdom These days With God As her Savior Inner strength Spiritual maturity No doubt All things possible Through Him Helping others …
A Love So Deep
She Fell hard She Feel deep In love With a man Selfless love Human compassion With her Beside her Throughout all days During all troubled times For many seasons He did remain He saw The good The bad He come to know Every side of her From the breaths She took To the breaths She …
Realization
She learned to let go Discovered a new freedom Peace in her soul Self-love without condition She lived life freely Enjoying the present moment Everyday life Gratitude filled her soul Life she learned Is what you make it She found fulfillment In the ordinary Saw beauty In everyone and everything Faith, hope, and love Became …
The Feelings You Get Inside
Nobody Can describe The loss One Feels inside To lose A loved one To lose A best friend To lose Yourself And have Unrest Loneliness Isolation Social awkwardness Who are you? Who am I? Without that someone special Standing Side by side Redefine Rediscover A new sense Of self Acceptance Takes time Mourning Grieving Alone …
Wounded Warriors
Many are The Wounded warriors Wanting To be Set free Among us They are Angels In disguise Days Weeks Months Years A life Compromised Tired out From The battle Deep wounds Battle scars Healing From the war Victory Is won Peace remains
Future Self
In a dream There She sat On The driver’s side Backseat Not knowing Where She was going She looked Out the window Her reflection She Did see A woman Who Has aged Golden years Beyond Her prime At first The young woman Was Startled Taken back By Her reflection In The window A much older …
My Best Friend
What is it like to spend life with your best friend? Are the times all good, get along each and every day? Do you argue, fight, get disappointed, frustrated, cry? I know I have, but that doesn’t mean I love than any less than I did before. Everybody has their own needs. Everyone has their …
Personally Speaking
Have you ever been surrounded by people you love yet feel so alone? I have been there, going through, visiting this space and time in my own mind, a world no other than my own. I have experienced brokenness throughout my life. An unknowing, uncertainty of who I am and what I am going through. …
God, Swings, A Notepad & A Pen — Magnificent Meraki
(Originally published September 17, 2019) Looking back, I realize how far I have come. My journey continues as I learn to become a more faithful follower of Christ. As His daughter, I am proud to say the good things He has done in my life! Perhaps there is something that will resonate with you too! …
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Acceptance
In moments of despair and uncertainty I cried out to God. What is it Lord, I should do? My heart is hurting. Emotions, larger than life. A pit of pain running deep into the depths of my soul. Help me with acceptance! My circumstances, let me accept them for what they are. This life, I …
Sometimes
Sometimes I struggle Do you? God Has forgotten Forgiven A blessing Indeed Wiped The slate Clean Fresh start New beginning Sinned At fault Knew better Deceived Perception Truth Reality Impacted Influenced by Trauma Childhood Teenage years Adulthood PTSD Grieving Mourning Loss Wounds Unattended to Need time To reveal To discover To process Accept Love Experiences …
Me, who I was-I am
There are moments When I become Angry Frustrated Irritated Sad Do not Take My actions Personally Something Inside of me Needs Healing too Uncertain Confused If You were Me You Would understand In need of Worthy of Receiving Attention Affirmation Hugs Love Abrasive Yes At times This Does seem Unintentional Asserting myself Releasing Letting go …
Looking Inward
He Called Out and Said…
Reflections in Life
How many of us would be willing to sacrifice our time, pleasures in life, to love and serve other people, not asking for or expecting anything in return? No anger, no regrets, no guilt, what if’s, would have’s, could have’s, should have’s-a life lived fulfilling God’s purpose, carrying out his plan, every breath, every moment, …
Getting to the Core
Days
Yesterday Is who I was Today Is who I am
Knowing Him Takes Time
Mother’s Day of 2020, I was gifted a lemon tree. I had been wanting one for quite some time. Not only was the lemon tree expensive, but there were instructions to be followed too. Watering, sunlight, positioning, indoors/outdoors, so much to know and how to care for. The summer months brought sunshine and heat, and …
Time Changes Us
22 years ago A different Person I was Our relationship Not So Strong Distanced Disconnected Not The Father-Daughter Bond Often times Dreamed of Headstrong Determined Strong-willed Wanting To be heard Wanting To be seen Not knowing Not understanding Behaviors Words Actions Reflections Of you Not me How not To Take things Personally Mentally Spiritually Psychologically …
Will You Let Him In?
I Heard a knock At The front door Who Was it? Who Was there? Unusual I thought I waited I listened Still there I Do see Someone An outline A person For sure Slowly Quietly Cautiously Bravely I Opened The Door A visitor Surprise! …
Forgiveness
His Timing, His Plans
I thought my life would be different Than it is this day in age Going Against the wind Against the tide Against the grain Let me Take a moment To explain There was a time I once felt The need To be in control Of My circumstances Envision Think Plan Dream …
Appreciating Differences
Just be YOU I do see DIFFERENCES Exist I do love APPRECIATE Value Integrity
Connections
Hearing The “C” Word
Below is the link to the article I had published on 9.29.2020 on the Live Breathe Alaska website. I have been very excited about sharing with everyone, so here it is! Not that the “C” word is something to get excited about, rather it’s about community, finding connections, common ground and understanding. “The conversation shifted …
For Whom Do You Write?
When you write, where is your focus? How about your mindset? What is your frame of mind…reference? Getting caught up in mindless chatter, noises heard in the mind, can make it hard to hear (even harder to write), the words in which He is trying to speak. Find a safe space, one that feels warm, …
Soul Awakening
Grow Where You Are Planted
My family and I, we went out for a morning walk around our neighborhood. Every part of me was very aware, present and at peace. Such an amazing feeling! A beautiful way to start the day. We were over half way around when I noticed something growing up through the cracks of the sidewalk. This …
Present-A Gift-His
Time alone Oneness With Him Alive Vibrant Peaceful Calm Trust In His words Trust In His timing His presence His kingdom Shall find me SOMEDAY Without warning Without notice Transformed Become The past No more attachments Faded Receded Gone No longer exists Present moment Abiding …
Under Construction
Construction zone Under construction Pilot car Slow down Please Heed The warning Be aware Of The signs Watch Listen Learn Obey Creating oneself Authentic and true Road repair Upgrades needed Wear and tear Slow down Take time Embrace The transition The change Worn out Old pavement Old ways Upheaval Removal Disposed of Properly New foundation …
Searching
Who she was She didn’t know Searching In hopes of finding Someone new The person She would become Who was it She hoped to find Uncertain Whomever it was Must be Whole Rich Pure Filled with Compassion Unconditional love Divine Holy Understanding of Oneself …
Let Your Light Shine
A door Was opened To let The light Shine through Radiated Shimmered Broken through The darkness So bright Nearly blinded I saw I witnessed I experienced Such imagery Real or not In a flash Light Was gone Darkness came Soul was silenced God Entered in Was found Light Carried …
Little Did I Know
Little Did I know What you were going through My friend Troubled waters Difficult times Rough seas Storms Calamity Caught Off guard Thrown Off balance Feels like a blur Out of control In a dream Surreal Some days A reminder is needed Just How valuable How loved How human YOU Really are …
Remembrance
In just a few weeks Distance Learning Social Distancing Is how The school year Will Come to an end Be complete Hard to believe Imagine The last quarter Of The year Surreal Unimaginable 22 preschoolers Ages that vary From 2 years 11 months To 4-years-old Not having The chance The opportunity To …
Love Her Always
Guys Boys Men Listen up When I say this Ladies Girls Women Have needs To be met Throughout Her life She will Transform Change Become Many versions Of Herself Love her Regardless Love her Anyway Her body Has endured So many Things Physical changes Child birth Weight gain Psychologically Physiologically …
I Wrote a Letter to God & He Answered Me in the Most Profound Way
Last night I wrote a letter To God To this day I Have been learning To trust In His timing To trust In His ways I needed His guidance I needed To know How best May I serve Him With The story I am writing By publishing My book I asked …
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A Little Girl Becomes a Woman, Living Life as Her Authentic Self
I once Met A girl I knew Her From a not So distant Past She Was lost She Was confused She Loved herself As She was A distorted reality Little Did this girl Know The woman She Would ultimately Become Living Her life As Her authentic self
Who is it You Have Called Me to Be?
God, who is it you have called upon me to be? I am here. I am listening. I hope to comprehend and understand your every word. You bring me not only words, but signs of hope and peace throughout my days. How is it that I have yet to release the stronghold and fully trust, …
I am an Empath, You See? (I Feel)
One ear And Out the other What really Does that mean Interesting concept One May think Is there Nothing in between A heart A mind A spirit A soul Feelings Emotions make up A Good portion Of One’s own Personality Not So easy For An empath You see For words Spoken …
The Gift of Friendship
There are times, moments in my life when I feel as if I am unworthy of being loved. Stuck in the darkness of my own world, my own mind, thinking others see darkness and are distancing themselves from me. This thinking is incredibly irrational! I know I am loved! I know I am a child …
Lord, With This I Pray…
My heart hurts, my heart aches anytime a family member, a friend, someone is suffering, or is in pain. I feel the pain. I feel the sadness. I know everything is in your hands. I know you hear the cries from my heart and soul. The world, I feel, such weight at times. I must …
Messages From My Old Self…A Time For Reflection
(Originally written 6/2010) It was a brisk morning with a cold wind blowing from the north along the river’s edge. This morning would be the start of another beautiful day and a perfect time for a run. As I started out the door, and onto the driveway, I felt an immediate rush of cold air …
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Loving Oneself Is Easy (Once You Have Come to Know Him)
What I failed to see before is now becoming much more clear. Through the eyes, the lens, the soul of other people, I am starting to believe all the good things that have been said about me. Held captive, set free! Oh, what the good Lord has done to me! I once was blind, but …
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Live a Life of Love
For far too many years than I wish to count or admit, I told myself how bad of a person I was. I felt like such a failure. I felt as if I wasn’t good enough, nor did I do things right. I revisited the “mistakes” of my past. Like pressing rewind and play, this …
Picking Up The Pieces
Sometimes We need to be broken Shattered Into a million pieces Get to know Each shard Some edges Much sharper Cut deep into the soul Much heartache Excruciating pain Other pieces Some edges Rounded and smooth How can this be? Those are the things The parts of us Well-kept and …
What’s My Worth?
What’s my worth? I know this sounds kind of strange to ask, but haven’t you ever wondered? In God’s eyes, I know my worth, for I—I am His child. Beautiful, created in likeness and the image of Him. Sometimes, still I wonder, what is my worth down upon this earth? Who is it that I …
A Letter to My Father
October 9, 2019 Dear Heavenly Father, I would like to take this moment to write and thank you for all of your love and support throughout my life, especially in these years of adulthood when many changes have been taking place in my life. Mid-life changes, now that’s a big one, as a woman, …
Let There Be Peace
Today, the last day of September’s journal entry. I wondered, I thought about, I reflected on and yet, I knew I still needed to pray. The hour is getting late and what a wondrous night this has been. Had I written earlier in the evening when I felt prompted to, so much more emotion would …
Getting Over You
How does one get over an old memory? Retrain one’s mind? Replace it with something new? Letting go Is not new concept Just something many of us Learn to go through Waiting for the impossible Would someone consider that to be Something of faith and trust? OR Would one consider this …
Transformation: Who am I?
Life…so beautiful, so exquisite, to this I have nothing to compare. My life, your life and everyone else. Living together, living apart…sometimes in unison and other times not. Harmony, orchestrate, tune in to one another’s lives. Beautiful music we can make if we can learn how to sit and listen to the sounds, the whispers, …
Magnificent Meraki 