While listening to a podcast on, “The Connected Life” (I will attach the link and notes about the episode), I was given a word that brought me peace, gave me a sense about myself. Although I don’t think they mentioned it on this episode, this word was brought to the forefront of my mind for …
Tag Archives: trauma
See & Set Free
Be sensitive to Everyone Who You know Are friends with Family too Trauma exists Hidden In faraway places A childhood Memory Instilled as Fear Child-like Child-ish There is a difference You see Traumatization Holds captive Love frees
No Matter How Blinded We Are, God Continues To Help Us See
The enemy has taken me to dark places, depths beyond that which one could fathom or imagine deep in the mind. I felt like a captive, being lost in the great abyss. Fear of the unknown, having to face, confront my own shadows and culmination of darkness in my 49 years. Battlefield. Battle ground. Desolate. …
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Ebb & Flow of Emotions, God Still Loves Me Through Them All
Yesterday, I mourned the loss both of someone I did and did not know. I got lost. I was caught up in emotion. A part of me was grieving, mourning the loss of years gone by, lost opportunities, in a world where time passes by. Emotions…big and so many of them. Anger, bitterness, resentment-so much …
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Much to Learn About Life
Life The older I get The more It seems to make sense And Then it doesn’t My mind at peace When Being outdoors Going for a hike Gardening Taking a shower (to name a few things) Ideas Conversations Wisdom Rolls through my head With grace With fluency Wisdom How can that be? Everything Seems to …
Facing My Goliath
Being an empath is not easy, especially when other people don’t understand you. Words and actions of other people may leave you feeling as if you are the one with the problem and need to get your act together. Being told to chill out, calm down and avoidance until storm stops isn’t necessarily the best …
Tough Times
I Make mistakes We all Do learn From them Some big Some small God Helps us Through them all Fighting Crying Finding A way Through So many emotions So many fears To be The one Finding strength Standing up Although It hurts So much I face This day I Must Go On Await Upon the …
Do You See Me? Do You Hear Me? I’m Doing the Best that I Can!
Find ways to connect Find ways to disagree Find ways to listen Find ways Get to know Be content with Accept I am Who I am Let it be Misunderstandings Overwhelming Agitated Frustrations Feedback wanted Voices spoke I wonder Were they heard? Concerns Worries Struggles Yes This is life They are real! Be present Do …
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Once Lost-Now Found
She lived her life A prisoner to the past Every day She showed up Looked at Herself In the mirror Who Was this person She Had become A foreigner Disguise Disgust Was she A woman Or Was she A little girl Someone Who she could trust What happened To her body What happened To her …
I Want You to Know…
Whatever darkness it is you are going through, I am right here with you. The challenges you are facing. The fears that fill your mind. Constant worry. Heartache. Emotional downpours. Sadness. Pain. These are all temporary emotions, not long-lasting, suffering and agony. Friends I know what it’s like to be held captive in your own …
Bring to Life
When The world Gets dark Hopelessness Loneliness Isolation Withdrawal All Too easily Consume one Inside Bring hope Bring peace Bring light To a place Where One has forgotten They exist
My Best Friend
What is it like to spend life with your best friend? Are the times all good, get along each and every day? Do you argue, fight, get disappointed, frustrated, cry? I know I have, but that doesn’t mean I love than any less than I did before. Everybody has their own needs. Everyone has their …
Fear Not
The threat Is gone The harm Is done This past Is in the past Move forward Go beyond Much stronger You’ve become Be present Notice Appreciate Right here Right now You Me
Release
She lit up Like the 4th of July Crackling sounds Explosions Dropped The F-bomb Darkness Consumed Her thoughts Match lit A fire Flames Firecracker Exploded like dynamite 20 minutes Show’s over No refunds No applause No standing ovation Pause Silence
I See You From the Inside Out
“You’re acting like a 2-year-old!” Have you ever been told this sometime during your life? I have, but I don’t remember being told this as a child, rather as an adult. You see, there is a child in us all. A part of us longing for connection, someone to see us, hear our soul speak, …
Personally Speaking
Have you ever been surrounded by people you love yet feel so alone? I have been there, going through, visiting this space and time in my own mind, a world no other than my own. I have experienced brokenness throughout my life. An unknowing, uncertainty of who I am and what I am going through. …
Sometimes
Sometimes I struggle Do you? God Has forgotten Forgiven A blessing Indeed Wiped The slate Clean Fresh start New beginning Sinned At fault Knew better Deceived Perception Truth Reality Impacted Influenced by Trauma Childhood Teenage years Adulthood PTSD Grieving Mourning Loss Wounds Unattended to Need time To reveal To discover To process Accept Love Experiences …
What Are You Holding Onto?
Holding a grudge? Why might you ask? Who wants to know? Yes! (the response) Many Throughout the years It’s true Strength within (stubborn is a better word) The weight The burden Holding on Much too long No longer able to Withstand Enemy attacks Lies Hate Deceit Fierce Overpowering Convincing (but not defeated) That grudge What …
Ms. Who?
Misunderstanding Misunderstood Miscommunication Frustrations Emotions Interpretations Perceptions Perspectives What was said What was heard What one thought they heard Distraction Unfocused Side tracked Other thoughts Present moment Listening Some Do not Soul hurts Heart aches Laugh off Not a big deal Forget about Hurry Rush Brush it off Feel it Heal from it
Power to Choose
One might think spending time with salmon fishing with family sounds like a pretty amazing way to spend the day, right? What’s not to love? Lush green vegetation, wildflowers, mountains, water rippling, fresh air, nearly having the river to ourselves. I have been quite fortunate to call Alaska home for nearly 26 years now and …
Little Did She Know
Little Did she Know The peace She Was feeling Inside Would become The calm Before The storm She tried To be Strong Keep it Together Withhold Suppress Her feelings Her emotions Help Other people Uplift Inspire Be The person She Wished for When She was Young Her plans Not The best God Did see Her …
Me, who I was-I am
There are moments When I become Angry Frustrated Irritated Sad Do not Take My actions Personally Something Inside of me Needs Healing too Uncertain Confused If You were Me You Would understand In need of Worthy of Receiving Attention Affirmation Hugs Love Abrasive Yes At times This Does seem Unintentional Asserting myself Releasing Letting go …
Accepting His Love
In light of trying to understand my emotions, the way I look at people, circumstances, thoughts and behaviors, I keep coming back to love and acceptance. Who is it I am? Who is it you called me to be? Your child Your servant Your daughter I know who it is I am Through My Father’s …
A Process
The past Gone Regrets Had some Looking back Yes Have Done it Do Memories Resurface Something Resonates Smile Let go Embrace What was The moment Just be Present Heal
In Remembrance of Cousin Brenda…
On the morning of May 6, 2021, I received a message of your passing. The time was 12:50, the moment when God called you home. There was a three, hour difference between your time zone and mine. My mom, sent me a text, gave me a heads up about your condition and asked me to …
Getting to the Core
Vulnerability
I Am Here At All Times
Until the Day Comes
Never Will you Know How It feels It impacts Unless It happens To you
One Day
Some day When You look Back You Will realize Those days Weren’t As bad As You once Did think Those days Have Well prepared You For The road Ahead
Trust the Process
Flashback Flash forward Record speed Uncertainty Silence Noise Overjoyed Sadness Healing From trauma Can be Such A messy journey Trust Believe in All You are going through A purpose A plan He has
Allow Space For Him
Allow The flow Avoid The fight When our emotions come on strong allow them to come through, see what it is they are teaching you. Stopping the emotions only hinders progress, pushes back the healing process. We need to be able to express our emotions in a healthy way. Speak to the emotion as if …
Questions
Who was it You saw Who was it You hoped you would find What was it You did feel Was it worth it Or no big deal Where were you living The world you existed in Real Fantasy How did you get there Where did you think it would …
Change is a Process
Personally Have you ever Felt As if You Were trapped In A habit of mind Wondering when The threshold Will Let go Old Thought processes Old Patterns Old Mindsets Of the mind Change Is a process As we know Takes time Hard work Dedication A lot of energy Faithfulness Prayer …
How Fast Life Changes
March 2020 New challenges New mentality Returned from Spring Break No kids Back at school Teachers In and out Gathering Student belongs Personal items Everything We possibly could In only 2 hours Packaged Prepared Labeled Bags Placed in The Gymnasium room Ready for Pick up Distribution To families …
Until
Cry Keep Crying Cry Some More Cry Until Your heart Sings Cry Until Your light Shines Walk forward In faith In confidence You’ve got this God’s Got you IN The palm of His hands
Freedom
May The memories Become So fragmented Falling apart Into A million pieces No longer Do faces Do memories Hurt or pain Paint a picture Rather Breaking down Barriers Tearing down The walls A new life A new beginning No longer A prisoner A captive Set free A warrior By …
Letting Go
Letting go Can be So Easy If spoken By Someone other than Yourself Letting go Like that Of A process In life Mourning Grieving A loss Of Some kind Takes time Needs healing Feeling Understanding of Oneself The day Will come Weightlessness The feel Burdens Gone At last …
Selfless Love and Respect
Inside of Us
Healing
Beauty Comes From Within
Big emotions Oh How one Does feel Trapped inside Some May wonder What’s the big deal Get over it Let it go Why Are you acting like that Confused Empathic Feeling What others feel Picking up Receiving How does one Explain Help others Understand Believe in What …
Heal From It, Don’t Deal With It
Deal with it Some say Forget about it Move on Let it go The problem Will go away Understand Yes Yes, I do Yet, I don’t Stop focusing On what happened Mistakes made People Done wrong My childhood You see I need you To understand Words Actions Behaviors Of …
Unfailing Love
Because Of you Many gifts I Have received Through darkness I walked Alone I Did Feel Afraid Fearful Uncertain I was Not knowing My fate Awaiting The outcome Believe My soul needed In something In someone In me I cried Loud Ever so Profound Heartfelt Sadness …
Beautiful in Time
I know Your Heart Is hurting I cannot Take That pain From You Memories Flashbacks Years Tears cried Overwhelming I know This Must feel In God’s timing With God’s grace You Will come to know The beauty This Does bring
Who Am I?
Refocus
I Am Healing…
I am healing from… My childhood pain Events that happened As a teenager Young adult My 20’s and beyond To current day This age In my life I am healing from… Pain caused by others I am healing from… Pain inflicted upon myself I am healing from… Old mindsets Old beliefs …
A Reminder to Trust & Believe
On 8.7.2020, I went into my classroom for the first time since March. We had just returned from spring break and the day was March 16th. There was no closure, saying goodbye, until next year or see ya later…only a mad rush! My teaching assistant and I only had 2 hours to pack up all …
Picking Up the Pieces
Looking Forward From the Past
He’s Got This, You See?
During this season in our lives, a pandemic as forever changed us. The way we see the world, our responses, our reactions, have changed. There is a lot of stress, worry, fear and anxiety clouding the thinking and judgements of many. The enemy just thrives on these times and messes with our minds, telling us …
Faith Over Fear
Day 2 of 3: Fishing on the Klutina River in Alaska The time was 9:30 AM. We were on no timeline or schedule for the day. I rolled out of bed (literally), and got myself ready for the day. You know how it is when you don’t have any place to go or be at …
Changing the Ending: A New Beginning Has Begun
Changing the ending To a life event That Keeps repeating Ruminating Broken record Syndrome In My head Not as bad As Days gone by I Have yet To fully release The visions The memory The story In my mind A brilliant idea Came to mind Just The other day A strategy …
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Trust in & Believe With All of Your Heart, Mind & Soul
Mark 11:22-24 ESV “And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, …
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He Opened My Eyes to a New Reality
Some of the things that have happened in my life, feel as if they have come from another dimension. Something, not of this world, things that felt quite foreign. Me, I was not myself. Actually, I really didn’t know who I was at the time, my body, my mind, my thoughts, perception in life, literally …
A Little Girl Becomes a Woman, Living Life as Her Authentic Self
I once Met A girl I knew Her From a not So distant Past She Was lost She Was confused She Loved herself As She was A distorted reality Little Did this girl Know The woman She Would ultimately Become Living Her life As Her authentic self
Today is a Good Day…
There’s a strong voice inside of me that says, “Stand tall! Speak up! Be a voice! Be an advocate! Let your story be told for others to hear! You will persevere! You will heal!” A voice, spoken as loudly as, as serious as, as dominating, as that of a lion. A roaring, thundering, something coming …
A Reflection on Brene Brown: “BRAVING”
My Christian Women’s Life Coach, Mukkove Johnson, shared a Brene Brown YouTube video with me last week. I spoke briefly of her in my last blog entry from yesterday, and I have since taken the time to listen in even more closely and take note on everything she had to say. Brene had done a …
You ARE Worth it… Invest in YOU!
People place so much value on money, neglecting their own health and well being. You think you can fly solo…do this all on your own in life, until one day, reality hits you and you fall flat down upon your face! REALITY CHECK!!! Yes, I know! I have been there! I am still working through …
I Broke Up With My Past
The past Stopped by For A visit I said, Hello We smiled We laughed We sobbed We cried More pain Than Happy times Were The focus Of The conversation No longer Am I The person now As I Was back then Old memories Old times This time The past …
The Stranger & Me
Thank you Kind stranger For Coming into my life Helping me to become A better person A better version Of myself You Changed my heart Now I am More compassionate Love unconditionally I come to know God’s love His love For me Ugly truths Were revealed Somehow You Seemed to know …
Loving Oneself Is Easy (Once You Have Come to Know Him)
What I failed to see before is now becoming much more clear. Through the eyes, the lens, the soul of other people, I am starting to believe all the good things that have been said about me. Held captive, set free! Oh, what the good Lord has done to me! I once was blind, but …
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You Will Make it Through
Life has a way of putting things into perspective. He helps me appreciate the good times through days when I feel down, upset, simply, just sad. To bring me to. To bring me through. To feel things again just once more. Let this be a reminder the past is in the past. No harm can …
He Works Through You To Help You Understand
At peace, so calm. Many thoughts, many words, keeping the flow from my heart to my pen. Inner peace and silence I feel—reflecting on the days of my past. Thinking about all the happenings of life and the people that got me here. I am so grateful for every experience, every person (family and friends), …
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I Am More Than Meets the Eye
Walking and talking with God as I walk around the block. Trying to express myself to Him so we can work together in figuring things out. Whatever will be, will be I know. Some days, I am curious, just wondering about my healing and my progress. I can glimmer and shine, then feel as if …
Perceived, Preconceived, Proceeded Unknowingly
I know how it feels to be emotionally attached to someone, not wanting to let go. The feelings, the emotions, the thought of them can seem so real. There are people who come into our own lives. We start having this hopes, dreams, visions of what we hope to see, be conceived and born into …
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Memories: Are They Really What They Seem?
If memory serves me correct, seems like over the years my memory, my mind, have been in disillusionment. Have I lost it? I don’t believe so. What I do think is that what I once believed to be the truth for so many years, may have been a lie in my own mind’s eye. Have …
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Fact or Fiction: We All Have Characters in Our Lives
Some people no longer seem to exist in my life. I prefer to look at them as a fictional character, maybe a cartoon character at that, which helps to get me through. Where I am at in my life, no longer do I have respect for, nor appreciate those who play games. It doesn’t matter …
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Magnificent Meraki 